J Dub

???

2007-02-12T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if we're suppose to put our argument on the blog or in our paper so here I go doing both...

Although facebook presents a community that develops and fortifies relationships through communication, the website strongly invades traditional aspects of courtship because of its capabilities for public expression of relationship definitions and courtly interaction.

SITUATION OF DISCOURSE

2007-02-12T18:43:00.000-08:00

Implied Author: Mark Zuckerberg started facebook at Harvard University. Assumptions that can be made about the author are that is very talented in computer programming and wanted to make some money off of his skills. Zuckerberg’s ethos is strong because he originally was a college student and knows what the age group is interested in and what things they would like to see on the website

Target Audience: The target audience of this website was originally college students and faculty, but has now expanded to almost anyone who wants to join the website. The goal of the creator is to have as many people sign up for the website as possible and for the advertising on the website to make the site profitable. I include myself with the implied audience because I am an avid user of the site. I think as an actual audience member I react well when new additions are made to the site.

Message: I think the message of facebook is to bring about interaction within groups such as the student body and to make communication easy. The site uses language to achieve its goals by allowing members to send messages to each other and to post comments on one another’s sites and pictures. The logos of the site is that it makes communication easy so that communication will increase and the site will be more frequently used. The pathos is that Zuckerberg has relationships with his friends just as the users do, he is also using the site to keep in touch and establish friendships.

Assumptions: Knowing that the maker of the site was a college guy, I think people would assume he is a little out there since he is so smart and involved in computers. Some people might think he is somewhat creepy since he has created a site which basically enables people to stalk other people online. The occasion of this website is bringing friends together across distances. Many people gain from this because you can find out what your friends are up to who went to other schools and it enables easy communication. Some people say the motive to create this website was to make an elite form of the myspace website which only people with college e-mail addresses could register for. I would agree with this point until the site began letting users join who aren’t enrolled in college. I think the motivation was to create an online social network that is popular and easy to use.

OOO A TOPIC

2007-02-11T18:00:00.000-08:00

Now that I’ve explored several areas of technology and courtship, it’s time to narrow it down. Although I feel it will be a hard topic to research, I think that facebook and myspace are the topics most pertinent to our age and time.

One article I found I feel makes a great statement about or age group and the effects of facebook on us.

http://chronicle.com/jobs/2006/01/2006012301c.htm

“Increasingly, however, our networks are being used to entertain members of "the Facebook Generation" who text-message during class, talk on their cellphones during labs, and listen to iPods rather than guest speakers in the wireless lecture hall.”

I think this description is absolutely perfect of our age group. I think our obsession with technology to entertain us has led to the importance of facebook in our daily lives. Walking around campus, it’s hard to find someone who isn’t carrying a laptop, listening to an ipod, or talking on a cell phone.

“Christine Rosen believes that "those who run institutions of higher learning have embraced technology as a means of furthering education. But they have failed to realize that the younger generation views technology largely as a means of delivering entertainment -- be it music, video games, Internet access, or television -- and secondarily, as a means of communicating."

"Technology," she adds, "also provides new and unusual ways to isolate oneself from opinions or ideas that make us uncomfortable, from people who we would rather not have to know, from those often-awkward social interactions with strangers in public spaces. In the college context this is more worrisome since part of the purpose of a liberal education is to expose students to ideas that challenge them to think in new ways and expose them to things that they hadn't known about before."

Both these people quoted in this article successfully depict the focus of our generation on technology. I think Christine Rosen’s comment of technology being a means of communication that helps one avoid uncomfortable situations helps to explain why facebook is so important to us in courtship.

THE CELL

2007-02-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

Call me Mrs. Cleaver, but I still don’t think it’s acceptable for girls to call guys. But now, technology has created several different options for contacting someone from a cell phone without actually calling. Maybe this is just me, but I find a lot less wrong with text messaging a guy than calling him. Besides making it easier to justify breaking the rules, text messaging and other cell phone features such as AOL Instant Messenger have affected courtship. When you’re at the bar or somewhere else loud, it’s hard to hear the person on the other line which often leads to fights and the annoying situation of having to go outside to talk. Text messaging helps people avoid such situations and in turn could positively affect relationships.

On the other hand, all these new features can simply be invasive and annoying. You’ve all seen her, the girl at the bar text messaging the entire time she’s there. What’s the point in coming? Her boyfriend obviously doesn’t realize how annoying he’s being, if she wanted to talk to him the entire time she wouldn’t have gone to the bar without him. I wish I could say I have never been that girl, nor have I gotten out of the horrible habit of having my phone out at the bar, but it makes me sad to watch those girls.

Another change these features have made is they make communication less personal. It’s hard to tell someone’s tone through a text message. This often leads to the failed detection of sarcasm and miscommunications. For the most part, I think the fact that text messaging isn’t like having an in person conversation is a great option. It’s much easier to think about what you say before you say it in a text message and to strategically get your way through communication. Granted, the person on the other end has this same advantage but I think this makes for better conversation.

The biggest advantage I think this technology has made in courtship is how easy it is to make your significant other happy with a simple and quick sweet text message.

THE HOLIDAY GETS WORSE?

2007-02-08T19:50:00.001-08:00

The news came on after The OC tonight and for some reason I didn’t change the channel. There was a story on Valentines Day and ordering flowers. Seeing as my best girl friend and her boyfriend of 5 years broke up and won’t be spending Valentines Day together for the first time, my duty is to order her some flowers or at least something to make her day. The news story showed different websites that you can order flowers online from and which ones really send flowers that look like they do in pictures. The whole holiday of Valentines Day seems completely stupid to me in the first place, now they are making it even easier for guys to do absolutely nothing and be glorified on this day? Don’t get me wrong, I think the concept of ordering flowers online is great for long distance couples or in my case of getting them sent to a friend far away, but the people shown in the news were simply sending them to people in the same city. It’s easy enough for guys to walk into any flower place and grab the first thing they see or the first thing of chocolates, but now they don’t even have to make the effort to go to the store. Why is there a day to make guys feel like they have to use material things to demonstrate that they care in the first place? I’m not saying I don’t accept gifts or anything that absurd, but I don’t think there needs to be a day in which these things seem necessary and girls get upset if they don’t receive anything. I definitely do not think if used in a local way that the technology of online flowers benefits the direction of courtship in our society, it only makes Americans even lazier.

PUBLIC PROPOSAL

2007-02-06T19:42:00.000-08:00

I would have loved to have been watching the Super Bowl on Sunday instead of being stuck in an 18 hour weekend LSAT review course. Then, among other positive alternatives to being in that class all weekend, I could understand what we were talking about today in class with the marriage proposal that was suppose to happen during the commercials. Thank goodness the guy who came up with this plan is keeping a blog that I happened to stumble upon when trying to find out what the situation was. Honestly, my view before this assignment on blogs was that they simply existed for liberals to rant on and for other liberals to waste even more time reading them and adding endless complaints to. Despite my presuppositions, this assignment and the blog of the crazed lover who dropped all of his dough on a commercial have proved surprisingly useful.

http://mysuperproposal.com/

My super proposal.com, how catchy and appropriate for this guy; yet in my opinion, how overly cheesy and horrible. If I was that girl I would have said no on the spot. But what possessed this guy to go to all of this trouble so that the great amount of people watching the event would see something that was once considered a private and life-altering event? Why did he feel he had to spend all of that money just to ask a girl to spend the rest of her life with him? I'm not saying I don't hope for a huge glamourous rock, but that much money on what could simply be the traditional, in person, superseded with an endless string of flattering compliments question? Does this girl have some type of gold digging personality flaw that he felt had to be satisfied this way in order to receive an affirmative response? Or has technology really changed the way dating is viewed so much that one must announce so publicly they want to be with someone for it to be true?

I have hit a point where I am stuck between options of where to head next with this idea of technology, dating, its flaws, benefits, and the direction it is pushing society in. Hopefully once my brain has had a little recovery from the hours of LSAT class and now practice for the test I will be able to turn these ideas into a great concept for a paper with many sources of research to support my conclusions. For now, here is a wonderfully interesting wikipedia article about facebook that I found; it really is crazy how much money is being made off of this guilty addictive pleasure. Enjoy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

THE FACEBOOK

2007-02-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

As a person who has facebook.com set as their home page on their computer, I am well aware of what goes on with this evil yet addicting website. I would say I have a lot of authority on its influence on courtship as when I have nothing to do, facebook stalking always seems to pass the time, and often gets placed in priority above things I really should be doing.

What dictates a college relationship these days more than someone’s relationship status on facebook? In most cases, the answer is absolutely nothing. For example, fore mentioned psychotic serious boyfriend (let’s just refer to him as The Alcoholic) tried to break up with me on Christmas Eve. Jerk, right? Seeing as The Alcoholic who was not even attractive in the first place yet for the first part of it all had a good personality started to live up to this nickname; I thought he couldn’t possibly be the one breaking up with me, especially on Christmas Eve. Then, he tries again on Christmas day, both times being on the phone and on my favorite holiday, this can’t be real. Since I still do not believe him in such a stubborn way that it almost makes me seem like the one with the psychological issues, he comes into town to do it in person. Still I don’t believe him. Oh, but then he says we should take it off of facebook. I have him sign on to my account and end the relationship since I believe he has gone insane and refuse to do it myself. He ends the relationship on facebook. Only then do I believe that he actually means this and is the one breaking up with me.

Why have we come to the point where unless everyone knows the relationship is over by it being posted publicly on facebook, myspace, or whatever you prefer, that we do not even believe it ourselves? Maybe in this example it was different since neither I nor anyone else would ever believe The Alcoholic would be the one breaking up with me. My plans to end the relationship courteously when we were back from Christmas break and in the same city were foiled. Then there’s that aggravating broken heart that shows up on the facebook “mini-feed” which is possibly the most helpful and creepy tool to stalking all of your friends. Really facebook, am I broken hearted over this and you’re going to let everyone know? No, I’m just angry and bitter that I wasn’t the one breaking up with him and all of my friends are confused, can we get a symbol for that? Possibly a knife? Or something on fire at least if that’s more politically correct?

Then there’s the opposite, the happy full heart, Triston and Thomas are in a relationship with the first picture facebook could find with the two of them tagged in it beside this wonderful news that everyone needed to know in order to survive. What about in the case of my friend where the first picture facebook found with him and his new girlfriend was one where she was in the background kissing her old boyfriend and he was in the picture with another girl? I won’t get started on the pictures because I think they will fit more appropriately in an entire post I am now scheming about technology, stalking and courtship.

One thing I can give facebook credit for on this little heart and “in a relationship” situation is that it gets rid of the weird college terms we’ve come up with for relationships such as “talking”. For example, Triston and Thomas are “talking” really, are they speaking to each other? Does speaking to someone now constitute some type of relationship? They’re dating? Hanging out? Does this mean they’ve gone on a couple dates or are they actually boyfriend/girlfriend? Is hanging out some secret term for hooking up or dating or are they really just friends who hang out? What happened to the good old middle school “Will you go out with me?” Life would be so much simpler!

In one way facebook does us a service by defining things, but then again it forces that awkward “what are we?” talk. Can people be dating and not in a facebook relationship? Of course, and it keeps everyone out of their business which not being on facebook in itself would accomplish, but then we couldn’t get in everyone else’s business so there’s no point in deactivating an account. Then again, there are those people out there who feel they need to have the relationship publicly announced for who knows what psychological reason and I believe it differs depending on who the person is in the relationship with whether or not they decide to make this public statement. For instance, I was in a relationship with someone for a year and we never took the “single” off of our facebooks because it didn’t matter to us what everyone thought and it kept people out of our business. Then there’s the breakup with The Alcoholic where facebook was the only thing that solidified it.

I have officially found the way to defeat the facebook dictating the relationship system. A solution so simple, yet few have caught on thus far. Simply don’t put anything down! Here’s why this solution is flawless: The Alcoholic can’t prove you’re with someone and therefore you aren’t the heartless witch who moved on too soon, nor can he prove you’re not with anyone and can be left to worry about it, you don’t have to have the awkward talk with anyone new because it doesn’t say you’re single on there, and the best part, you can be dating as many new people as you want because they all think if the single isn’t up there it’s because you’re with them somehow. Purely genius and oh so simple, and technology has not taken over your love life.

By the way, for those of you thinking “wow, I hope The Alcoholic doesn’t see this” you obviously haven’t been through a long-term relationship bitter breakup. If you had, you would know that the yelling, go to hell you’re evil phone calls only get more and more hilarious after time when you’re on the mature end of it. In fact, I might even put this as my website on facebook since that dictates the world and he will surely see it. I’m a strong believer in the more someone hates you after a breakup or during a fight, the more they actually cared about you; therefore, I actually miss those funny phone calls in a sick and twisted sort of way and I’m sure that would spark some.

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION

2007-02-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

When we first got this assignment, I was leaning toward the courtship and television topic. Then, by the time this website and my apartment’s internet decided to work at the same time, I noticed that the majority of the class has chosen that topic and I’d like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t follow the crowd. Frustration. Then, an intriguing message came to me through the facebook which forced me to conclude that the topic of courtship and technology has endless possibilities. So here we go, the girl who when her serious boyfriend looked her in the eyes and asked her why she loved him proceeded to stare at him blankly and be silent because she just doesn’t get mushy-gushy, writes about dating and the like…